During this festive time of the year, it seems appropriate to remind you of the three different types of hangovers (HO’s) lurking around Christmas parties and dinners ready to attach themselves to unsuspecting revellers.
- He sees you when your drinking, he knows when you’re Shitfaced HO
This HO will wake you up with a slight headache leaving you feeling a little sluggish however during the day you will progressively worsen. Your head will throb and your heart will pound as if it is trying to escape your chest or to jump start you into action. The damage is done and the fat guy in the red suit knows what you’ve been up to. And when you passed out. Christmas time means there are ample occasions to drink and be merry but last night was your night! You put the red in Rudolph’s nose – the life of the party. Really, the only thing the whole day is good for is lying on the couch watching Netflix and indulging in a finger licking good feed of KFC.
- Merry Drunk, I’m Christmas HO
Also, known as The 12 Drinks of Christmas – This party a little too hard HO will have you ‘Decking the floors (or S-bend) with technicolored yawns’. Fa La Laa La Laa La Laa. You’re feeling dizzy and you have the shakes which are accompanied by an unquenchable thirst leading to queasiness. Your saliva glands unexpectedly secrete more than usual and this is a common precursor to a burst of energy that only lasts as long as it takes to make it to the bathroom. This is a level up from no. 1 HO.
- The Naughty Elf on the Shelf HO
This Elf says a lot about the dirty HO you’re feeling right now. A combination in 10-fold of the above two HO’s. Hot sweats and random flashbacks eliciting a groan, that for others are an acknowledgement, you are still with the land of the living. The partial memory of moments best left forgotten has your brain lovingly sharing reminders of the mischievous and humorous night you had. That gravel rash on your knee – How’d that happen? … Oh wait, I’m having a flashback. Groan. The dirt you dished out to the General Manager, the secretary and your co-workers because you know it all. Get some rest is the best advice and remember don’t answer your phone. Better still don’t even look at it especially in your messages, call log and photo gallery. You’ve probably irrevocably damaged your liver but it was all worth it – Christmas spirit was flowing in abundance and you were full of it.
DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE